Are You Addicted?

Just step out of your home and take a look at the world around you. The trees, the animals, the poor, the rich, the young and the old. Is there anything common between them apart from the mundane biological facts? Yes, there is.

They are all addicted. And so are you. Before you step back and think about the possible addictions you have, let me tell you that the range of such things is infinite and varies daily. So it is not just smoking, video games, drugs, social networking websites. Addiction has many faces and many ways of bringing it closer to you.

Addiction is a child of the materialistic world and though it is not the same as Maya, I would call it a "subset" of Maya. It arises from want, from need. It always remains an unquenched thirst. Can we avoid it or escape it? Or more importantly, can we live with it? Let us ponder over these questions and in the process, unearth some of the underlying fears and thoughts we may have on the subject of addiction.

We have discussed some of the very obvious sources of addiction earlier. But this is, by no means, an exhaustive list. In fact, it is a non-ending one. We have some people addicted to power while some addicted to extravagance. Some people are vane enough to be addicted to themselves (Does that include people who take pictures of only themselves? Just a taunt!) while some are fascinated and in turn addicted to the beauty or mannerisms of others. 

Shoes, accessories, sporting equipment, music (reminds you of Enrique?), dining, speed or thrill, it does not matter whether the noun is concrete or abstract. You name it and you have all kinds of possible addictions. But the question remains : is addiction neccessary in some cases? My answer would be a straight-forward "No". 

One may argue that we hear sportspersons say that they are addicted to the sport and this makes them strive for and as a result achieve more. Or for that matter, high profile Rockstars performing  when "high" on "banned substances",  reach a different, almost a serene state of mind, would suggest addiction is not all that bad.

In the first case, I would say that these "addicted" sportspersons are smart people. No matter what they say, a part of their success lies in the ability to "zoom in" and "zoom out" of situations according to the priorities set by them. The second example, honestly, would be a little difficult for me to falsify. This is primarily beacuse I have never (and never wanted to) experience that "serene" state. But I can safely argue that the required "josh" (read "the required energy levels") can be attained through other positive means ( I have to commend "Rock On" which shows the drummer doing push-ups to get himself ready for the performance). Indeed, it is not neccessary to get "high" to deliver "high" standards.

Before I reveal to you some of the other "critical" addictions and their sources, I would like to discuss my opinion on addiction and how I deal with it. I have always believed in the well known saying that excess of everything is harmful. And though I know I will never fall for the obvious sources of addiction such as alcohol or drugs, I do fear getting addicted. And that is why, I have always made a conscious (some would say foolish) effort to maintain a balance in whatever I undertake or deal with. I stress on the word "balance" and that is because if one gets "addicted" to a certain part of the whole, there may be chances that he or she may deviate from the "chosen" path. But at the same time, it is essential to keep "in touch" with all the parts of the whole. A tough job, no doubt. 

I may be  pretty confident about countering (if not entirely defeating) arguments supporting almost all sources of addiction. But there are a few areas of concern which I think I should share with you. And I guess almost all of us have faced similar situations some time or the other. The next source of addiction I am going to mention is the "addiction to people". And I believe, this one is a tough nut to crack.

Most of us, with the exception of cold-blooded murderers and terrorists, are emotional beings. And when it comes to people, all this talk about balance and staying "non-addicted" goes for a spin. It is difficult for one to imagine how would things be if the "person" they are addicted to would not be present the next moment. And that is where most of us relent. And that is precisley what I do not want to do. I have one life, a mission to fulfill and "balance" is what I strive to achieve. This may sound "heartless" but just as the mind needs to be in the "right" place, the heart needs to be "shown" its right place.

But I have not escaped all of it yet. And this is where the irony lies. Even after trying so hard, I still have an addiciton I can not get rid of: the addiction of being in control, the "addcition" of maintaining that "critical" balance. 

What about your addictions? Do you wish to live with them? Think about it. (You can post your views under "comments".)

An afterthought:  The spellcheck for my name on MS Word 2007 suggests replacing the name with the word "Rehab"(just a thought).

"Flush" it out??

I was in the middle of writing my first post when i decided to pre-empt it for something which appealed to me perfectly at the time.

The word flush may mean a lot of things and may be used in different contexts and it may be worthwhile to make a note of some of the instances where it is used. We use the word "flush" everyday, at least in our minds, while performing the activity (assuming  the activity is regularly performed) . We also have phrases (which I am sure Elliot or Wordsworth won't approve of) like "go flush you face in the ****pot. "Flush" is also used in "flush green". One may flush on being embarrased which may lead to a "flush of anger".  One may get "flushed with success" or "flushing", in metallurgy may lead to "cooling" of gases involved in a particular process. 

For computer engineers, the flush() function causes the buffer in the output stream to be written out to the attached device. "Flush" also means "contiguous", "in direct contact" or a fresh growth of plants and leaves. There are many more instances but I think I have "flushed" you enough with many.

And oddly enough, every usage contributes to what I am thinking, lying down in my living room, with my eyes closed, anticipating some kind of a lightning to strike me. At the same time, my head is jammed (reminds you of the traffic problem in the "Tech city"??) and the sound of the leaking water from the flush aggravates this ridiculous but blissful state which I have attained.

Blissful, does not, in any way, suggest that I have found the answers. But the first stage has been completed: the questions have been discoverd. Our being, "me", performs its daily functions (whatever it is capable of) throughout our life. It stores energy, expends it, stores more and this goes on and on till our "duty" cycle is exhausted.  It is responsible for setting goals, achieving targets and strives to reach the zenith of success and happiness, all set against a materialistic background.

But what about the mind? What about the "I" within (I am sceptical about using the word "soul" here) ? How does it move on, from one stage of the life to the next? Do we retain in our minds, or in our subconscience, everything we have experienced? Or do we "flush" out things in the manner we desire and in the manner "I" progresses best ?

That is, indeed, the main theme of discussion. When I say that we "flush" out things, it can mean any one of the possible interpretations mentioned above. The most obvious interpretation would be to "throw out" or evacuate from the system. But it could also mean "to submerge" oneself, along with the things needed to be "flushed" out (the ****pot analogy). It could also mean retaining and laying down all one has experienced, just like a flush green carpet, for everyone to see.

To "flush" out things can also be interpreted as an attempt to embarrass someone with something hidden from the rest of the system. It could mean showering one with accolades leading to his or her success.

One can vent his feelings in a "flush of anger". And may be "cool off" after that. "Flushing out" may mean getting close to someone and conveying your feelings to the "connected device". And it may also mean starting anew, fresh, free from the shackles which held you previously.

If you are wondering why I took the pain to explain all these instances and the pleasure to bore you with the same, here is the reason.

My "blissful" state, the one with the water leaking from the flush, is such that I know I need to "flush out" a few things. Apparently, it seems obvious: expel from the system. That is what my instinct (is it animal instinct, i wonder) tells me. But then, I have so many options, all these instances, through which I can "flush out" some things from "I".

But first of all, is it necessary? Is it an emergency? Can I do well to retain it in the system? When these questions are posed to "I" , it candidly says that retaining these things would make it appear "greater", for carrying the burden of thought is a brave and responsible thing to do. But "me" says to "I" that "You know. Everyone knows you are great. You can afford to be great. But we have to go hand in hand, at least till this person lives. And when you would want to share the load, I would break down". 

 

"I" is in a dilemma. On one side lies greatness : to be the epitome of all forbearance and spirit. And on the other side lies the responsibility of carrying "me" along. "Me" is adamant and it looks likely that "I" will give in. And "me" takes the advantage of the "noise" from the water, the "clamouring of the mind" and suddenly "I" relents.

And immediately, they enter the labyrinth of multiple choices. They need to find an answer. "I" never wanted to be here. Every second spent in this maze is making "I" gasp for breath. "Me" is not enjoying it either, but it is running helter-skelter to find the solution, for it knows that it can get rid of the suffering. "I" can do nothing but get "tagged" along. 

And now they encounter the options. Find a "contiguous being" and "buffer out" the things to it?But what if the thoughts to be flushed out are related to the contiguous identity? That could be dangerous. They move to the next option. "I" says, "Let the whole world know. If we are already here, let them know". But "me" cuts "I" short and rejects the idea because it still has to face the world after this process is over. "Me" wants this to result in a "long-term gain" and says that is the whole purpose behind all this. But still unable to find the solution, it "flushes out" anger. "I" hopes "me" would "cool down" soon and tries to pacify it........

"Me" is not angry anymore but wants to get out of the situation. It realizes, had it been another life, it would have listened to "I" in that life. But it also knows that is the best it could have done under the circumstances. "I" is getting suffocated by the situation and "me" decides whatever comes next, it would accept it and get "flushed" out from the situation. At least, they would not get "submerged".

And they come full cycle, when they meet the most obvious option : evacuate from the system. "Me" looks at "I" but "I" is not in a state to react. It accepts the solution.....

They lie exhausted outside the maze. Speechless, motionless. But they are not aimless. "I" knows it still has to strive to be the greatest possible it can be. "Me" wants to realize the "long-term" vision. They know it could have been better but now they can't help it. They were sad because they knew what was "flushed" out was invaluale and the irony was it still had "no value".They take a deep sigh (of anguish perhaps) and wait for the freshness to arrive quickly, now that they have "flushed" everything out.

All this is not a thing of the past. It just happened. We, that is, "me", "I" and the author, just came out from the maze. Yes, the author was with them all the time, watching the show. He knows it was not easy. But should they have done better? Should they have entered at all? He will ponder over these questions and pose them to you. May be you can take a leaf out of his book and choose a "better" alternative.

Dasvidaniya: a Re-view

I never imagined I would be writing movie reviews very often in my blog. So a movie review as the first post(the second posted post) comes as a surprise to me. However, the movie deserves being talked about and on a personal level, I did benefit from watching it.

It is sad that one of the online reviews calls the movie a "story of a middle class man". In my opinion, Vinay Pathak's potrayal of a man who is counting his days till death, crosses all boundaries and demarcations. Basic human emotions, like that of a mother proud of her son, the strong bond between two estranged brothers, is bound to leave a lump in the throat of any person irrespective of the class he or she may belong to.

My understanding of the story goes like this. We take life for granted on most occassions and therefore, unhesitatingly and relentlessly we abuse the various opportunities it has on offer for us. We do not mind spoiling a day or two or even more every week, be it through reckless behaviour, or by hurting the feelings of our loved ones, or by simply feeling negative about everything around us. 

Why do we behave like this?  Beacuse we believe that there is plenty more to come and that we can afford to abuse a certain fraction of the time allotted to us to live. And that is exactly where Dasvidaniya confronts us, and compels us to think again. Life is not all that certain and one fine day, when you have your aspirations and ambitions at the zenith, and you realize, you cannot do anything to achieve, do you realize what you have wasted away.

It is not just about aspirations and dreams. It is also about the small but beautiful things which we have always wanted to do but decided against, only beacuse we thought we had time on our hands. This also includes acknowledging the importance of out loved ones and conveying to them what they mean to us. Sometimes, it is too late.

Some of us must have heard of the concept of "thin-slicing" (Malcolm Gladwell introduced this term in his famous book "Blink"). It basically means you throw away the irrelevant part from the whole and what remains is the meaningful part which makes sense. It helps you focus better and concentrate on things which are important. In the movie too, the protagonist gradually learns to "thin-slice" and in the process ,  reveals to us that what we really aspire to do in a lifetime, can actually be accomplished in a very short period of time.

It asks us to pause, to reflect, to set priorities and to "go for it". It is like a chessplayer playing a football match, one needs to be "fired up" but also think wisely. The movie also includes humour which is genuine, and to which, the audience can relate to. One instance would be when Amar (Vinay Pathak) rues his decision of buying a car when he sees the saleswoman ride off on her boyfriend's bike.

This is not exactly a movie review, one reason being my inadeptness in judging the screenplay, cinematography etc etc. And also beacuse it is a re-view, a relook on how one has lived one's life so far and an opportunity for someone to alter the course of life in a way which would make him or her happier.

This is more of a tribute to Dasvidaniya, an acknowledgement of the influence which it had on me. It is one of the rare tragedies which can make one feel positive about life. This is primarily beacuse even though the eventual death of the protagonist Amar is forseeable, the focus is on the vitality and beauty of life, and how one should cash in on valuable moments everyday.

It may be blasphemy for some but King Khan may be very good at delivering "deathbed" scenes. Vinay Pathak is much more effective when it comes to potraying the beauty of life over the gloom of death.

Introduction to this blog

I think I should have started blogging a lot more early. I have realized that one must keep reflecting on one's life, thoughts and actions from time to time. Not only does this help you know where you stand and what you want, it also maintains an equlibrium between "I" and "me". It helps you grow.

This reflection needs to be honest, thoughful, careful and ever-changing in nature. Most importantly, it has to come from the "I" within. And that explains the title of this blog.

One reason why I hesitated when it came to writing a blog was that I was not really sure about laying my thoughts on the table. Like every self-professed poet or author, I value my creations a lot and like some of these creative intellectuals, I was not sure whether the readers would relate to my thoughts.

However, I would not lay down all my cards, for one is better off possessing thoughts which he or she is sensitive about. I would like to raise questions, some open-ended, some not so open-ended. I will try and put forward my views on various subjects with the best explanations I can possibly think of. These explanations and views may be logical and at times, may defy logic but still pose a serious question or two.

Pose questions the topics should, for this is what the link to this blog says, "Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum." I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am. 

Topics would possibly range from the meaning of life to movie and book reviews, sports etc. But there would always be an underlying principle which would govern the discussions, that of provoking thought. 

I request all readers to be critical, but at the same time, prudent in expressing their views, suggestions,  and sensitive and thoughful in sharing their insight on the topics which will be a part of this blog.

I sincerely hope this effort results in a long-lasting and a "win-win" experience for the readers as well as for "I".