Pichle Saat Dino Mein....(The Week That Was)

I am sitting in one of the omnipresent coffee shops on the face of this planet. I just escaped the commotion and noise in my apartment. I have scribbled some notes and the hospitable waitress serves me coffee, smiling, in anticipation that I would ask for my favourite snack which is almost never there.........

I always wanted this to be a no-nonsense, serious blog where the posts alone would suffice for all the thoughts I wished to express. I never wanted this blog to become "My Dear Diary" with me playing Betty's role. I am aware that there are eyes, some hawkish, some purely sceptical and some concerned, which would concentrate on every thought being expressed. But at the same time, there are readers, who have been generous enough to analyze what I had to convey and some have taken a step further by writing in comments. As much as I would like to play "on" the minds of the former, my respect and gratitude for the latter demands that I be upright, serious and lay emphasis on the content, not the author. This is the dilemma I face.

This blog belongs as much to all the readers mentioned above as it does to me. And now, I say to myself, "What the hell? If this blog is meant for the readers, I do bear the responsibility of interacting with them in more ways than one." And in order to fulfill that responsibility, I step out from the "distanced", passive author mode and adopt a more "active" role in this post.

Facts first. I have received great encouragement from the readers in terms of content and depth of the thoughts I have expressed. I promise to do even a better job and the role of your "comments", therefore, becomes much more important. I plead guilty for not writing through the week and not replying to comments. The comments would be replied to very soon.

The plot for this post goes like this. I would state the important outcomes (in terms of what is different) from the week that was and in the process build up a conflict of thoughts,  which would then throw up some open-ended questions.

The last week has been a "different" one, to say the least. I have reversed a few decisions, which is very uncharacteristic of me. I have decided to improve as a person, in areas where I lack. This includes not thinking and speculating "too" much about things which may be unnecessary or out of bounds. I mentioned "thin-slicing" in my previous post and I learnt it needs to be applied to the "thinking" process too. Some things need to be kept aside and should be considered when the time is right. 

I have been selfish, I felt fear, I felt remorse, I felt foolish and embarrased but then, I felt happy. I always avoided these negative emotions just mentioned, even if it were at the cost of the last one. But, I am still not convinced. Is it just a strong tide that has uprooted my long-held convictions. Were the roots weak somewhere? Or did the tree just get rid of its rotten parts? Was the flood a blessing in disguise?

Difficult questions, these. But they do raise two important questions for debate. These are similar in nature but have to be tackled in different ways. The first one is regarding "Present vs Future" and is one of the most common, yet muddling, dilemmas of all time. When I was in school, a very famous organization which "wants" to teach people an "art",visited us. The orator said that we should concentrate only on the present and not worry about the future. I was perturbed and annoyed to a certain extent. After the talk was over, I went up to him and asked him the most obvious question an ambitous, young mind would ask, "Is it not important to plan for the future and live accordingly?". He explained but I was not convinced.

But last week, I was made to re-think. I always thought that people, in general, get too involved with their present and there is a high probability that they will get lost in their ongoing struggles and conundrums. But the opposite could be true. I always look at the future and perhaps, there is a chance that I get so lost thinking about it that the present loses its significance and the link between the two gets broken. 

It is something like myopia and hypermetropia where both seem to have an advantage but infact, are undesired. Instead, the "normal" vision is preferred. And while I think of this analogy, I am struck by "lightning": a revelation. 

I have always maintained that two things in life are of utmost importance: balance and quality. But I had never thought of any concrete relation between the two. It is best to have the perfect balance and the highest quality. But this now seems to be the ideal case.  In the case of the visionary defects I mention, myopia provides the best quality if short-sightedness is desired. And the opposite stands true for hypermetropia. What does this signify?

It signifies that sometimes, balance and quality, have to be offset against each other!! You cannot have the best of both at times and that is what normal vision signifies. One desires a balance in vision at the cost of quality of a particular kind of vision. I wish to explore further on this accidental discovery. Please do post your views on this and I am sure we can find a better analogy than the one I have mentioned.

Moving on to the second question. This one brings to light the conflict between "Measured life" and "Free-flowing"life. It is related to the "Present vs Future" question in the sense that our decision on the first question, somewhat drives the approach adopted towards the second one.

Some of us  prefer to stop at certain junctures in life: to analyze, to reflect, to plan. This makes us feel more certain of what they stand for and what they want to achieve. On the other hand, some let themselves "flow" freely with life. They take things in their stride. Both ways of life have their pros and cons. The first kind may still "flow" at certain times. The second kind may still plan as they keep "flowing". Also, the first may not be able to achieve what they planned beacuse of stagnation and the second may just drift away into the unknown.  Certainly, it is about priority and also about the importance given to "certainity".

Can we have a perfectly smooth sail? Or do we stop at each port to consolidate and safeguard our position? As far as I am concerned, I did not stop at each port but I did stop. I did "flow" but I did fear drifting. Should I measure? Should I flow? Should I "measure my flow" or should I "flow" while measuring? Does this kind of thinking need to be thin-sliced? I am still to learn.

Note: I am not very sure if I remained in the"active" mode. I may have drifted away to the "passive" one (for I was letting my thoughts flow freely). It is for you to think. I am not thinking!!