Thinking Mumbai after 18 days

Portia: Good sentences and well pronounced.

Nerrissa: It would be better if they were followed.

Portia: If to do were as easy as to know what were good to do, chapels had been churches and poor men's cottages princes' palaces. It is a good divine that follows his own instructions; I can easier teach twenty what were good to be done, than be one of the twenty to follow mine own teaching. 

I avoided writing anything about 26/11 till now primarily because of two reasons .  I was too much involved in looking "inside" me. I also did not want to come up with a knee-jerk reaction. I wanted to gauge the "mood" by hearing, reading and listening. And I feel I was right, at least on a personal level. What I write now is going to be much more different than what I would have written then. This very fact, reveals the true picture. I want to plead guilty. But in doing so, I wish to trace the origins of the pathogen which has infected a part of our brains. I want to free myself of this infection. I sincerely hope that some of you do the same. 

A lot has been said, discussed and hotly debated on the Mumbai "terror attacks". Words cannot describe the horror, desperation, helplessness and of course, anger which almost all of us felt during the course of three horrid days. These feelings mentioned above, were indeed "felt", not only by Indians but by all "global" citizens. 

As a thinking individual, I was greatly affected by some scenes of this real-life drama. Some may see it as "sheer" narrow-mindedness. Some may think I am drifting from the matter at hand. But these scenes, symbolize the under-current, the current that opposes the current we see standing on the shore of the river. It urges us to jump into the river and flow along-with it, against the apparent flow. The formation of this under-current may not be fascinating and "correct" but that does not really matter if we want to defeat the situation at hand.

One of the causes of the formation of this under-current is the role of the media. The media plays the role of the cameraperson whose job in this case, is not only to cover the entire drama but also to put it on record so that it can be played repeatedly in front of us. It also plays the role of a critic and presents an infinite number of arguments before us in its analysis of the play. Considering the reputation of critics in today's world, some of these arguments are extremely thought provoking while some are "rubbish". It comes as no surprsie that these roles have both been praised and criticized by the "audience".

A well known news network started off well when the "drama" began. Both the anchor and correspondents were sensitive towards the emotions of the people and chose not to highlight  individual pain and suffering. They seemed duty-bound to show images and speak words that would enrage the public but at the same time not result in panic-buttons being pressed everywhere. Some other news channels tried getting as close to the action as possible. Some flew in their war and terror coverage "specialists" to report on the matter even before the NSG commandos could fly in. They could have benefitted the terrorists in doing so but that is again, a question of debate. 

What really upset me was the decision of the owner of the seemingly "responsible" news channel to take a U-turn on the second day. Co-ordinating with the most famous face in the Kargil War, he chose to exploit the emotions pouring out from personal tragedies of the victims. At times, it looked like the sole purpose was to highlight the devastation, visual and personal, caused by these attacks. One could not help but think that the perpetrators of this shameless act would be quenching their thirst from the blood oozing out of the scars being tampered with.

Another image which haunts me is that of the young terrorist, clearly pictured at the CSS Terminal. He looks just like any college going student on a carefree trek. Only, we cannot even imagine to what extent his mind has been poisoned. But what really disturbs me, is a confession I make to myself. This person resembles one of the heroes of many a computer games who is dressed to  kill. This image, somewhere, brings a strange sense of trueness to a "boyish" fantasy: to be heavily armed and shooting at the "bad guys". But the definition of "bad" here,  is highly subjective. If this is what I feel (and I am sure a lot of my friends who play such violent games identify with this), then one can only imagine how many more, waiting in the queue for their innocent "brains" to be washed, cleansed of all reasoning, would relate to this image. 

Does that the mean that the media is unjustified in its recording the whole drama? Is it against the underlying principle behind the formation of the anti-current? These concerns would be answered after I discuss another cause. This cause is hard to accept but if we let ourselves "open" to all ideas, it can be fathomed.

One can not really keep a count of the number of terrorist attacks being made on Indian soil. But what makes 26/11 different? Of course, the place of incidence was the heart of Indian finance and its metropolitan image. The fact that the whole episode stretched for almost three days and that it was impossible for anyone to escape the terror and despair caused by these attacks, was another major factor. But this time around, something else was different.

This time around, the rich and the "elite" could sense terror as they shivered watching the series of events pass.  A lot of them, prior to this attack, would have, in their minds, rated the probability of their being victims of a terrorist attack as minimal, especially in the comfort of five star hotels. Make no mistake when I say this. Of course, five star hotels and other such places could be easy targets, but in their minds, this possibility, just like the tip of an iceberg, remained remote. Only now, when a ship  was "hit" by the iceberg, did others realize the enormousness of the problem at hand.

And therefore, we could see intellectuals (mostly with a "five star" lifestyle) come out and speak strongly on matters of "grave concern". We have seen some of these people speaking out in public formus  on previous occassions but the only difference this time, as I see it, was that they were much more earnest in their views and expressions. They not only meant what they said but they believed. This time, one could sense, they "felt" fear. 

And while this may leave a bad taste in the reader's mouths, I feel that this is a blessing in disguise. At least now, we have a "single standard". The terrorists terrified the whole nation but unknowingly they left everyone "united in fear". Taj, Oberoi and Nariman House are to the "elite" and "influential" , what Patroclus was to Achilles in the Trojan war. The words of the influential, no doubt, boost everyone in the country. But more importatntly, the people whose voices can be heard, are waking up to the call. It is not just about resilience any more. It is about resistance.

These were my views right after the NSG operations got over.

More than two weeks have passed by and these thoughts are still fresh in my mind. Over this period, I have read some blogs, articles and statements. Not only people have expressed their anger and disapproval of what has been happening in the country, they have come with suggestions which could help improve our condition as a nation. In most cases, the proposed solutions are linked to evils (such as poverty, illiteracy, corruption)which have long been a part of our society. I would like to focus on two major concerns aired by a large number of people.

The first one is the need to elect the "right leaders", which, in turn, signifies the importance of voting. It is mostly those , who feel that their views should be heard, who do not vote. This includes me as well. I intend to vote from now on. But, I also feel that quite a sizeable population of this country, is not able to vote because the people concerned do not happen to stay in their respective states of domicile. This makes it difficult for many to take leave from their jobs in order to go back home and vote. This issue needs to be addressed when we discuss the importance of voting.

The second issue is that of "corruption".  The most common from of corruption, in everyday life, happens to be that of bribery. I have paid bribes and I have hated doing it everytime. People argue that sometimes they do not have any option. May be they are right but one can at least attempt to eliminate possible scenarios which lead to bribery. Some things just need to be a part of one's discipline, for example, following traffic rules, wearing your helmets, putting on safety belts, getting your vehicle registered and checked for pollution. I have been guilty of two of the offences mentioned.

And despite taking a decision to get my vehicle registered on 28/11, I still have not taken a step forward. This is what the conversation between Portia and Nerrissa from the Merchant of Venice signifies. One can preach others what to do but cannot follow one's own teaching.

Most of us, almost all, have gone back to their routines. A part of them got bruised by 26/11. It will heal until it is made fresh by another assault on the consciousness of this country. But this time, it was supposed to be different. This time we were not going to let it fade. Yet, I can see the Fire diminishing. I hope it is just the one inside me; I wish to rekindle it. But I know, there are many more like me. We can not let the Fire die down. We need to be reminded of this  time and again. And that is why the role of the media, one of the causes of the formation of this anti-current against terrorism, is important. There is a need to record every "drama" and play  it in front of our eyes so that we do not forget so easily the tragedy which can someday claim us as victims. 

Man uses fire to help keep wild animals, and thus, fear away. We should also use this Fire within us to ruin such horrendous acts of terror.

It is time for us to dive into the river and empower the undercurrent so that it not only resists terrorism but also sweeps away with its sheer force, the evils that are a part of our society.

Let us get rid of this pathogen which infects us.

I have not been a part of any candle light vigils or peaceful protest marches. But, if I can at least change myself to bring about an improvement, everyone can. A part of me really wanted to avoid writing this post, but a part of me wanted to plead guilty. And now that I have, I want to change things I can control, however small they may seem. 

And if anyone does want to comment, I would request the reader to mention at least one positive thing he or she has done to add fuel to the Fire. I would so the same.

Pichle Saat Dino Mein....(The Week That Was)

I am sitting in one of the omnipresent coffee shops on the face of this planet. I just escaped the commotion and noise in my apartment. I have scribbled some notes and the hospitable waitress serves me coffee, smiling, in anticipation that I would ask for my favourite snack which is almost never there.........

I always wanted this to be a no-nonsense, serious blog where the posts alone would suffice for all the thoughts I wished to express. I never wanted this blog to become "My Dear Diary" with me playing Betty's role. I am aware that there are eyes, some hawkish, some purely sceptical and some concerned, which would concentrate on every thought being expressed. But at the same time, there are readers, who have been generous enough to analyze what I had to convey and some have taken a step further by writing in comments. As much as I would like to play "on" the minds of the former, my respect and gratitude for the latter demands that I be upright, serious and lay emphasis on the content, not the author. This is the dilemma I face.

This blog belongs as much to all the readers mentioned above as it does to me. And now, I say to myself, "What the hell? If this blog is meant for the readers, I do bear the responsibility of interacting with them in more ways than one." And in order to fulfill that responsibility, I step out from the "distanced", passive author mode and adopt a more "active" role in this post.

Facts first. I have received great encouragement from the readers in terms of content and depth of the thoughts I have expressed. I promise to do even a better job and the role of your "comments", therefore, becomes much more important. I plead guilty for not writing through the week and not replying to comments. The comments would be replied to very soon.

The plot for this post goes like this. I would state the important outcomes (in terms of what is different) from the week that was and in the process build up a conflict of thoughts,  which would then throw up some open-ended questions.

The last week has been a "different" one, to say the least. I have reversed a few decisions, which is very uncharacteristic of me. I have decided to improve as a person, in areas where I lack. This includes not thinking and speculating "too" much about things which may be unnecessary or out of bounds. I mentioned "thin-slicing" in my previous post and I learnt it needs to be applied to the "thinking" process too. Some things need to be kept aside and should be considered when the time is right. 

I have been selfish, I felt fear, I felt remorse, I felt foolish and embarrased but then, I felt happy. I always avoided these negative emotions just mentioned, even if it were at the cost of the last one. But, I am still not convinced. Is it just a strong tide that has uprooted my long-held convictions. Were the roots weak somewhere? Or did the tree just get rid of its rotten parts? Was the flood a blessing in disguise?

Difficult questions, these. But they do raise two important questions for debate. These are similar in nature but have to be tackled in different ways. The first one is regarding "Present vs Future" and is one of the most common, yet muddling, dilemmas of all time. When I was in school, a very famous organization which "wants" to teach people an "art",visited us. The orator said that we should concentrate only on the present and not worry about the future. I was perturbed and annoyed to a certain extent. After the talk was over, I went up to him and asked him the most obvious question an ambitous, young mind would ask, "Is it not important to plan for the future and live accordingly?". He explained but I was not convinced.

But last week, I was made to re-think. I always thought that people, in general, get too involved with their present and there is a high probability that they will get lost in their ongoing struggles and conundrums. But the opposite could be true. I always look at the future and perhaps, there is a chance that I get so lost thinking about it that the present loses its significance and the link between the two gets broken. 

It is something like myopia and hypermetropia where both seem to have an advantage but infact, are undesired. Instead, the "normal" vision is preferred. And while I think of this analogy, I am struck by "lightning": a revelation. 

I have always maintained that two things in life are of utmost importance: balance and quality. But I had never thought of any concrete relation between the two. It is best to have the perfect balance and the highest quality. But this now seems to be the ideal case.  In the case of the visionary defects I mention, myopia provides the best quality if short-sightedness is desired. And the opposite stands true for hypermetropia. What does this signify?

It signifies that sometimes, balance and quality, have to be offset against each other!! You cannot have the best of both at times and that is what normal vision signifies. One desires a balance in vision at the cost of quality of a particular kind of vision. I wish to explore further on this accidental discovery. Please do post your views on this and I am sure we can find a better analogy than the one I have mentioned.

Moving on to the second question. This one brings to light the conflict between "Measured life" and "Free-flowing"life. It is related to the "Present vs Future" question in the sense that our decision on the first question, somewhat drives the approach adopted towards the second one.

Some of us  prefer to stop at certain junctures in life: to analyze, to reflect, to plan. This makes us feel more certain of what they stand for and what they want to achieve. On the other hand, some let themselves "flow" freely with life. They take things in their stride. Both ways of life have their pros and cons. The first kind may still "flow" at certain times. The second kind may still plan as they keep "flowing". Also, the first may not be able to achieve what they planned beacuse of stagnation and the second may just drift away into the unknown.  Certainly, it is about priority and also about the importance given to "certainity".

Can we have a perfectly smooth sail? Or do we stop at each port to consolidate and safeguard our position? As far as I am concerned, I did not stop at each port but I did stop. I did "flow" but I did fear drifting. Should I measure? Should I flow? Should I "measure my flow" or should I "flow" while measuring? Does this kind of thinking need to be thin-sliced? I am still to learn.

Note: I am not very sure if I remained in the"active" mode. I may have drifted away to the "passive" one (for I was letting my thoughts flow freely). It is for you to think. I am not thinking!!