"Flush" it out??

I was in the middle of writing my first post when i decided to pre-empt it for something which appealed to me perfectly at the time.

The word flush may mean a lot of things and may be used in different contexts and it may be worthwhile to make a note of some of the instances where it is used. We use the word "flush" everyday, at least in our minds, while performing the activity (assuming  the activity is regularly performed) . We also have phrases (which I am sure Elliot or Wordsworth won't approve of) like "go flush you face in the ****pot. "Flush" is also used in "flush green". One may flush on being embarrased which may lead to a "flush of anger".  One may get "flushed with success" or "flushing", in metallurgy may lead to "cooling" of gases involved in a particular process. 

For computer engineers, the flush() function causes the buffer in the output stream to be written out to the attached device. "Flush" also means "contiguous", "in direct contact" or a fresh growth of plants and leaves. There are many more instances but I think I have "flushed" you enough with many.

And oddly enough, every usage contributes to what I am thinking, lying down in my living room, with my eyes closed, anticipating some kind of a lightning to strike me. At the same time, my head is jammed (reminds you of the traffic problem in the "Tech city"??) and the sound of the leaking water from the flush aggravates this ridiculous but blissful state which I have attained.

Blissful, does not, in any way, suggest that I have found the answers. But the first stage has been completed: the questions have been discoverd. Our being, "me", performs its daily functions (whatever it is capable of) throughout our life. It stores energy, expends it, stores more and this goes on and on till our "duty" cycle is exhausted.  It is responsible for setting goals, achieving targets and strives to reach the zenith of success and happiness, all set against a materialistic background.

But what about the mind? What about the "I" within (I am sceptical about using the word "soul" here) ? How does it move on, from one stage of the life to the next? Do we retain in our minds, or in our subconscience, everything we have experienced? Or do we "flush" out things in the manner we desire and in the manner "I" progresses best ?

That is, indeed, the main theme of discussion. When I say that we "flush" out things, it can mean any one of the possible interpretations mentioned above. The most obvious interpretation would be to "throw out" or evacuate from the system. But it could also mean "to submerge" oneself, along with the things needed to be "flushed" out (the ****pot analogy). It could also mean retaining and laying down all one has experienced, just like a flush green carpet, for everyone to see.

To "flush" out things can also be interpreted as an attempt to embarrass someone with something hidden from the rest of the system. It could mean showering one with accolades leading to his or her success.

One can vent his feelings in a "flush of anger". And may be "cool off" after that. "Flushing out" may mean getting close to someone and conveying your feelings to the "connected device". And it may also mean starting anew, fresh, free from the shackles which held you previously.

If you are wondering why I took the pain to explain all these instances and the pleasure to bore you with the same, here is the reason.

My "blissful" state, the one with the water leaking from the flush, is such that I know I need to "flush out" a few things. Apparently, it seems obvious: expel from the system. That is what my instinct (is it animal instinct, i wonder) tells me. But then, I have so many options, all these instances, through which I can "flush out" some things from "I".

But first of all, is it necessary? Is it an emergency? Can I do well to retain it in the system? When these questions are posed to "I" , it candidly says that retaining these things would make it appear "greater", for carrying the burden of thought is a brave and responsible thing to do. But "me" says to "I" that "You know. Everyone knows you are great. You can afford to be great. But we have to go hand in hand, at least till this person lives. And when you would want to share the load, I would break down". 

 

"I" is in a dilemma. On one side lies greatness : to be the epitome of all forbearance and spirit. And on the other side lies the responsibility of carrying "me" along. "Me" is adamant and it looks likely that "I" will give in. And "me" takes the advantage of the "noise" from the water, the "clamouring of the mind" and suddenly "I" relents.

And immediately, they enter the labyrinth of multiple choices. They need to find an answer. "I" never wanted to be here. Every second spent in this maze is making "I" gasp for breath. "Me" is not enjoying it either, but it is running helter-skelter to find the solution, for it knows that it can get rid of the suffering. "I" can do nothing but get "tagged" along. 

And now they encounter the options. Find a "contiguous being" and "buffer out" the things to it?But what if the thoughts to be flushed out are related to the contiguous identity? That could be dangerous. They move to the next option. "I" says, "Let the whole world know. If we are already here, let them know". But "me" cuts "I" short and rejects the idea because it still has to face the world after this process is over. "Me" wants this to result in a "long-term gain" and says that is the whole purpose behind all this. But still unable to find the solution, it "flushes out" anger. "I" hopes "me" would "cool down" soon and tries to pacify it........

"Me" is not angry anymore but wants to get out of the situation. It realizes, had it been another life, it would have listened to "I" in that life. But it also knows that is the best it could have done under the circumstances. "I" is getting suffocated by the situation and "me" decides whatever comes next, it would accept it and get "flushed" out from the situation. At least, they would not get "submerged".

And they come full cycle, when they meet the most obvious option : evacuate from the system. "Me" looks at "I" but "I" is not in a state to react. It accepts the solution.....

They lie exhausted outside the maze. Speechless, motionless. But they are not aimless. "I" knows it still has to strive to be the greatest possible it can be. "Me" wants to realize the "long-term" vision. They know it could have been better but now they can't help it. They were sad because they knew what was "flushed" out was invaluale and the irony was it still had "no value".They take a deep sigh (of anguish perhaps) and wait for the freshness to arrive quickly, now that they have "flushed" everything out.

All this is not a thing of the past. It just happened. We, that is, "me", "I" and the author, just came out from the maze. Yes, the author was with them all the time, watching the show. He knows it was not easy. But should they have done better? Should they have entered at all? He will ponder over these questions and pose them to you. May be you can take a leaf out of his book and choose a "better" alternative.